It's a good bug deflector!

I went for a bike ride tonight.  An hour and a half bike ride!  It is quite difficult to ride a bike, pay attention to the path, make eye contact, wave and say hi all at the same time!!  Also people are even more unaware of the people around them as they are concentrating on riding their bike and not crashing then when they are just walking!!  As well, I am flying past people and it doesn't give me or them as much time to connect!  That made it fun too though....smiling and saying hi and then hearing their reaction behind me!  One guy said "Nice! Come back and make me laugh!".   I heard many people say "Hey, that girl is wearing a clown nose!", "Cool", "Love your nose!".  There were many smiles, nods, laughter and of course many blank stares.


With those blank stares, or non-reactions or even angry faces (that is just my interpretation of them...who knows what those people are actually thinking or feeling), I notice myself going straight into my head and shutting down.  I make those "reactions/non-reactions" about me.  The conversations grow louder in my head at those times.  Those conversations are about how silly I look, how people think I am stupid for doing this, and that I must be a completely off my rocker!  It is interesting to me how I can go from not being self-conscience at all and being super happy to being  soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo (do you get my point!!??) self-conscience and sad/angry the next moment all because of a look, comment or a reaction I wasn't planning on or that I wanted.  I know this happens for me even without my red nose on!  This is not getting easier for me; wearing my nose.  I am still freaking out every time I think about putting my nose on and heading out into the world.  I still have to take deep breaths and remind myself why I am doing this....to connect to people.  To make people smile.  To break through my own boundaries/barriers and allow others to do the same.


One thing I noticed as well tonight is that I wasn't in such a hurry or annoyed as I usually am on my bike.  I get so frustrated with people who go slow or who walk/bike and take up the whole path.  I ring my bell angrily at them.  Tonight, I rang my bell and yelled "Clown coming through" and a group of older people turned around, laughed so hard and yelled "Opa".  I went through a group of Greeks and they loved it!

One person asked if the nose inhibits me??  I said that it is a good bug deflector!!  We both laughed at that one!  There are a couple of technical difficulties with my nose that I need to report.  One of them is that when I am walking/exercising, there is a build up of condensation and my nose "runs"!!! So I now have learned that I need tissues with me at all times to wipe my nose!!!!  Also, while breathing through my nose, my sunglasses get all steamed up and it makes it difficult to see where I am going! Haha!  All this just makes for a more exciting and interesting journey!

"Claritin should clear that right up for you!"

I went out with Corinna again (God bless her!!) to get some gear for a couple of camping trips I am doing this summer.  While walking to meet her, I noticed that it was a different crowd out there on Davie Street.  I left the house at around 5pm and people were getting off of work.  It was a serious crowd.  Not many connections at all.  Not many smiles or even looks. I noticed myself closing off and going into my head.  It was hard to not look down and keep to myself.  I was super self-conscience. I just kept noticing the conversations in my head and noticed what was happening in my body...heart racing, stomach turning, slouching over.  And I just kept looking at people and saying hi and smiling.  One person handed me a rose and said I deserved it!  That made me smile!  I walked past one lady and said hi and she laughed and laughed.  I gave her my flower and she asked why.  I said that she seemed like a nice lady who would like a nice flower!  She was so thrilled that she came running after me to thank me again.


In Canadian Tire, I hardly had anyone look at me. It was interesting.  In MEC, a few of the staff laughed and were more than happy to help me.  In Winners, not much connection at all.  When we went into a grocery store, a grandma and grand daughter laughed so hard that I went back over to talk to them.  The little girl said she didn`t know me and she shouldn`t talk to me.  The grandma said that I was ok to talk to because I had a red nose on..I had to be nice if I wore a red nose!


Corinna pointed out something interesting.  She said that I get more positive responses from men then I do from women.  I have noticed that men are the ones that say ``I like your nose``, or ``Nice nose`` more than women do.  Men have also said how cute I look, have given my thumbs up and have smiled the biggest smiles.  Women have done those things too, but I get way more blank looks, WTF looks and ignoring from women than I do from men.  Very interesting!!

I took my nose off on the way home (I had to let my ``real nose``air out!!) and I noticed that people were looking at me.  I actually forgot I didn`t have my nose on anymore (I had it on for almost 3.5 hours).  Maybe I am just more present with people.  Looking at them, smiling and trying to connect.  I guess that is a good thing.  I don`t need a red nose to do that!


The best comment of the night was (by a guy)...``Claritin should clear that right up for you!``  Haha!

"Looks like you got a nose job"

I have to say how grateful I am for my friends!!  My first day wearing my nose yesterday I was with my friend Katy.  When she saw me she was bent over laughing so hard and she said if I had told her I was wearing my nose, she would have worn her red feather boa!!  I was still really nervous about the whole adventure, and she took my arm in hers and we walked to our class together laughing the whole way.  She wasn't fazed by it at all.  She said that I was just being me!!  She said to tell her the next time I would wear my nose around her so she could plan something for herself to wear!


Today was day 2.  I was still super nervous!!  I met my friend Corinna in a sushi bar and when I went in she was laughing and said she was happy I was doing it.  She said I was just being me!!!  It was so funny walking with Corinna (I wore my nose with her for almost 3 hours!) as she was giving my the low down of what people were doing or how they were looking at me.  Many side looks and double takes.  Many many smiles and lots of comments. Some of my favourite from tonight are..."Looks like you got a nose job!", "It's not Christmas yet.", "Stop clowning around!", "You've got something on your nose".  And there was a lady who tripped in front of me so I told her to be careful because that is how I got my nose so big and red!  She laughed and laughed!


Even though I am nervous and have all sorts of conversations going on in my head, I can't help but smile when I have my nose on.  I look people directly in the eyes and smile or say hi or wave or make a comment.  But I'm connecting and I am finding many people connecting too.  And also many people don't know what to do. It's like I catch them off guard.  Like a deer in a head light kind of look!  So funny.  Sometimes it isn't so funny and I have to keep breathing and get myself out of my head and find the next person to try and connect to and smile.


So, thank to my friends for loving all of me...nose and all!!

The Beginning!

Hi!

Welcome!

Ok!  What is The Red Nose Daily??  It is a project I have created where I wear a red nose out in public every day and then I report/blog about it!  Why, you might ask, would I wear a red nose out in public???  Well, I want to connect with people.  I want to make people smile.  I want to have people break out of their head/their own little world and shift their energy for even just a moment.  Even if they don’t smile but they just look at me, or have a confused look on their face, or whatever else they might experience, they have shifted their attention/energy.  You see, the red nose is “the smallest mask in the world” and gives the wearer AND viewer permission to take risks, to express themselves in a way that they normally wouldn’t do and also helps them go beyond their own expectations in a positive way.  With the red nose there is an open-heartedness and innocence that occurs with all involved.  A spark.  A light.  A curiosity.  

I had this idea for over 2 years and have never done anything with it.  Fear had the better part of me.  “What would people say??”  “What would people think or do?”  I had so much (still do!!) anxiety about wearing my nose that I put the idea away…however the idea didn’t stay quiet.  It kept creeping out from the closet I tucked it into in my mind.  It’s not as if I have never worn a red nose before.  I worked in health care facilities as a clown doctor in Ontario.  I co-created and trained high school leadership students in a Spirit Clowning curriculum, for both classroom and leadership conference purposes.  I also co-created and presented a one-hour motivational, entertaining, and interactive presentation for elementary and high school leadership students in the metaphor of living life with a red nose on!  

What had my stand up to my fear???  Many conversations recently with good friends. Friends who love me and know I want more in life.  Friends who see me being stopped by fear and my conversations.  Friends who have been honest enough to say that my life is too much about me…and not enough about others.

So…I’m doing it!  I started yesterday.  Oh my goodness!  I was so scared!  My heart was racing all day thinking about putting on my red nose.  The conversations in my head where not pleasant and almost stopped me from doing it.  But, I put on my nose and took a deep breath and walked to the elevator in my apartment building.  I was praying that no one would be in the elevator!!  Of course there was someone.  She looked at me…she had a confused look on her face, then said “nice nose”.  We both laughed.  She asked why I was wearing it.  I said I am doing an experiment to see how many people I can make smile.  She said it was great idea and to count her as one!!  Fantastic!  While walking I started saying hi to people and some people laughed, some smiled, some just starred, some made comments (“You have a bloody nose there” , and “Seems like you forgot your sunscreen”.) and some didn’t even look up to me.  I noticed how many people don’t notice or choose not to notice.  Many people just kept walking.  Eyes down. Plugged into whatever they were listening to.  No connection.  That has me thinking of how often I do that myself.  How many connections I have missed because I have been in my head and not present??  

It was a great first experience.  The voice in my head didn't shut up the whole time and I didn't die!!  I made people smile!!  And…I’m about to go out and do it again.  And my heart is pounding.  The conversations are strong.  However, my nose is near and will be put on before I leave my apartment.  I’ll be walking down Davie Street to meet a friend for dinner.  Maybe I will make new friends along the way!!