To Be Seen, or Not to Be Seen?

I have been wearing my nose everyday, even though I have not been blogging about it.  I noticed something interesting this week.  When I wore my nose to the fireworks on Wednesday night, I was not connecting with people.  I was very much just hanging with my friends, connecting to them.  They don't even see my nose anymore, so it was just a regular evening.  Like I wasn't even wearing it.  I didn't notice for quite awhile that I wasn't connecting to other people.  I made no effort to look at, smile or wave to anyone else.  I wasn't meaning to ignore other people, I was just really loving being with my friends.  But, there was something missing.  No one was reacting to my nose.  Even a friend made a comment about how no one was even looking at me or reacting or even smiling. I really didn't care that night.  I don't mean that I REALLY didn't care, but I was ok with that.  It really takes something to be "ON" all the time.  Or maybe it doesn't.  Maybe that is something I am making up.  Who the hell knows.  I get to say I guess.  But that night, it felt like an effort to try and connect to others besides my friends.  Maybe I am tired of always being seen.  If I wear my nose, and look at people in the eyes, and smile and wave and say hi...I am seen.  Funny....so much of my life I so desperately wanted to be seen and heard.  At times, I have felt so completely alone.  And now, I am making myself seen, and I want to hide sometimes!  Hmmm....just something for me to continue to look at and experiment with.


On Thursday I put my nose on and drove to get my car Aircared.  I remember looking over at guy in a big delivery truck at a stop light and he saw me and bursted out laughing!  I mean, he was full on belly laughing!! I gave him a thumbs up and he laughed even harder.  Of course, that made me smile.  I pulled up to the Aircare place and the first guy gave no reaction what so ever.  I had to smile about that too. I find it hard to believe that some people can look at me and have no reaction...not even a WTF look!  The next guy cracked a smile and said he liked my nose.


Friday I wore my nose to two parties.  Everyone asked why I was wearing it and I explained my intention behind my nose.  They all thought it was great idea.  One person said something that I thought was very interesting.  She said me wearing my nose is like "mobile art".  She said it invokes emotions and reactions. Whether you love it or hate it, the artist (or in my case, the "wearer's") intention is to create an impression.  And she said that that is what I do.  I just love hearing people's ideas about it.
A friend asked if he could wear it, so I shared my nose.  Someone made the comment "Second hand nose!" which I thought was cute!  He put it on and I saw a huge smile come across his face.  I loved seeing that.  I love sharing the laughs and the smiles.  He also looked super cute in it! 


On Saturday I wore my nose to the fireworks again.  This time I did make on effort to connect with strangers and I saw many smiles and heard some great comments.  My heart felt more open last night then it did on Wednesday when I wasn't connecting at all.


Today I am off to participate in "The Enlightened Warrior Training Camp".   This is what the camp advertises about...

"During the Enlightened Warrior Training Camp, 
you’ll practice accessing your true power and 
living in your natural state of abundance. 
 
Discover:
 
* The secrets to being strong and confident.
 
* How not to yearn for approval and recognition 
from others, but to approve of yourself.
 
* How to respond to circumstances from choice 
instead of reacting from past conditioning.
 
* How to live with integrity, so that your word is law.
 
* How to have the courage to take action in spite 
of fear, doubt and worry."

That is what I am up to till Friday.  Don't worry, I'm bringing my nose and will wear it at least once a day.

I'm very nervous, and scared and excited and... and... and......